Your Cadets Are Probably Misbehaving Right Now
by ANN Staff
You wake up in a cold sweat, because your brain just reminded itself that it’s summer, which means means no school, which means summer activities.
And NCSAs.
And SAREXes.
And…
Oh, shit… Encampment.
Encampment is RIGHT NOW.
Those little butt-monkeys are away from home in semi-private rooms with their hormones raging. They’re probably running around like savages, beating their chests, waving makeshift spears in the air, and throwing their underwear into the trees. Like some kind of sex-crazed ‘Lord of the Flies’.
And one of them – you know which one, yeah, that little bastard – has probably sneaked beer in. He’s got ‘lance criminal’ written all over him, post high school. He’s a smooth talker, though. He’s had nearly a week, so he’s probably got his hooks into the Wing Commander’s niece by now. And, oh crap, it’s Friday, right?
The Cadet Mixer…
The dim lights and the slow dancing and these kids and their hands all over each other.
And that one Senior ‘den mom’ who you think was born a middle-aged matron and wants to control their urges. And always fails. And always comes after you about it with that ‘just sucked a lemon’ look on her face.
They’re going to put you in an early grave, is what they’re going to do.
Or maybe get you fired. But would that be so bad? Let some other sucker take the reins. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with your obnoxious Commo officer with his HAM license and his clapped out Crown Vic with the 47 antennae on it and his horrible breath and his habit of using radio prowords during normal conversation.
Who the hell says niner-o’clock? Idiot.
You just wish these kids were better behaved than you were when you were a Cadet.
You roll over and bunch the pillow under your head and stare at the ceiling in the dark because you’ll never get back to sleep now.
But wait! Your fever-brain remembers that the ‘rona canceled everything. No activites at all. They’re all home, and their parents’ problem. You can go back to sleep.
For now…
