NHQ Announces ‘National Crash Coverage Program’
by ANN Staff
National Headquarters has announced a new service it’s calling the ‘National Crash Coverage Program’. The NCCP is a type of insurance that will reimburse Civil Air Patrol for the expense of Search and Rescue (SAR) missions through an underwritten fund, rather than the pilots themselves having to pay for SAR performed on their behalf.
“The current administration is all about transactional relationships,” said Joseph Miller, NHQ’s newly-minted SAR Reimbursement Coordinator. “So they’ve directed that inland SAR be carried out on a ‘pay-to-play’ basis. You crash, you get the bill. We’re just trying to offer pilots options, so they, or their survivors, don’t get hit with an enormous bill after an unfortunate incident.”
“We took our cue from the Affordable Care Act, and we’re offering Bronze, Silver, or Gold coverage,” Miller explained. “And for a small additional fee, you’re covered for cross-state crashes.”
“Gold is really Cadillac service. We’re going to initiate the mission, send up the birds, mobilize the ground teams, the whole nine yards. Silver is pretty good, too. We’ll get a search plane up within four hours, and ground teams will be on stand by to leave within 30 minutes of a ‘hit’.”
“The bronze is… Well, not as good. I mean, you’ll definitely get an airplane, probably. And a ground team. But the airplane is going to also be doing an O-Ride, or a check flight, or transporting a heart or something. The ground team is going to be a bunch of excited 15 year-olds with more enthusiasm than skill in a broke-dick Dodge van, under the command of a 19 year-old Hawk or GSAR grad who thinks he’s God’s gift to SAR, and one fat Senior who’s not going to get out of the van.”
Wing Director of Operations, Maj Rich Perlongo, explained how this change has affected his wing.
“Other than the whole Bronze, Silver, Gold response levels, it’s mainly going to impact searches for over-the-border flights,” Perlongo stated. “Look, a lot of our budget is paid for by the state, and the state’s budget comes from the taxpayers. Out-of-state pilots don’t pay state taxes, so we have no way to recover that money.”
“It’s not like we’re not going to get out there and look. But we’re just not going to be waking people up in the middle of the night, and we’re probably going to fly only one plane, and it’ll by running a ‘wide’ search pattern. And we’re not pulling Cadets out of school for Ground Teams. And we’ll probably buy day-old donuts for the Ops Shack. Stuff like that.”
Dr. Phillip Graves, a private pilot who is affected by this change, agreed to give his opinion to ANN.
“Look, CAP’s budget is $46 million and there are over 150,000 private pilots in the U.S. That’s over $300 from each pilot! If I don’t crash, I shouldn’t have to pay for some other idiot. That money should come from everyone’s taxes, like it always has!” said Graves, after shutting down his King Air.
“And what about those searches for missing people?” Graves continued. “Am I going to have to pay just because some 3 year-old toddler or 90 year-old with Alzheimers wanders off? How is that fair? Answer: It’s not. It’s socialism!”
Mr. Miller explained that the NCCP is still a work in progress, and that they’re working on improvements.
“The policies don’t cover everything. For instance, if a pilot deliberately crashes or just does something very risky, that mission isn’t covered,” Miller said. “But we’re working with the administration on a ‘pre-existing conditions’ clause that will allow coverage for problems that were known and could increase the chance of a crash. Things like flying an old or experimental plane, or just being a shitty pilot.”
