NCAC Announces 2019 ‘Most Infantry Cadet in the Patrol’

By ANN Staff

C/Col Forest Young, spokesman for the National Cadet Advisory Council, announced the winner of the ‘Most Infantry Cadet in the Patrol’ competition at a recent press conference.

“This prestigious award has been given annually since 1987. Every year, Wing Cadet Advisory Councils nominate their most infantry Cadets for the contest. It’s close most years, but this year the choice was especially hard to make.”

The three finalists were Cadet Chief Master Sergeant Aaron Clark, Cadet Major Brandi Larsen, and Cadet Captain Charles Seiffert.

Cadet Captain Charles Seiffert, who was the ‘Most Infantry Cadet in the Patrol’ for 2018, was the third place finisher.

“Captain Seiffert was an early favorite, based on his winning last year. And this year he really went for it, racking up accomplishments such as always checking for booby traps before grounding his gear, and scanning for IEDs while driving to meetings. And, honestly, we were blown away by him referring to the MacDonald’s drive through as a ‘linear danger area’! Captain Seiffert would have been the first back-to-back winner since Cadet Major Bowie Peters in 1990 and 1991. But, in the end, the competition was just too fierce.”

ANN has learned that C/Cpt Seiffert has enlisted in the Marine Corps as an infantryman, and will soon be leaving for MCRD.

“It’s been a pleasure seeing Captain Seiffert’s name over the years, and the committee wishes him well. I’m sure his Drill Instructors will be as impressed as we were that he once watched a 36-hour marathon of Marine Corps movies without blinking once.”

The second place winner, Cadet CMSgt Clark, was praised for his many accomplishments. “Chief Anderson was a strong competitor, he showed amazing qualities, such as refering to his Mom as ‘Sarn’t’, and randomly holding up his finger and saying ‘This here’s my safety’,” C/Col Young said. “He also reportedly attended an entire encampment without changing his socks, and pulls rear security when walking to class. But, in the end the committee decided he fell just a little short. However, he’s young and we’re sure he’ll be a top contender in years to come. We look forward to seeing his name in the future!”

This year’s winner is Cadet Major Brandi Larsen, who has been declared the ‘Most Infantry Cadet in the Patrol’ for 2019.

“We are proud and happy to announce Major Larsen’s well-deserved award,” C/Col Young says. “Her qualifications and achievements were outstanding, and set a bar that will be hard for future contenders to ever meet. This is a Cadet that puts a dip in before her morning pee, that keeps a box of crayons in her pocket for snacking, and who doesn’t wear skivvies, even in Blues.”

“But, what put her on the podium ahead of her peers,” C/Col Young says. “Was that she once spent four hours blowing up a porta-john after eating three MREs and an unheated can of SPAM in a single sitting, on a dare.”

The C/Col Young pauses for a moment before continuing, overcome by emotion.

“It’s dedication like that, that really shouts ‘infantry’ to the world. Major Larsen is an inspiration to us all. From the entire National Cadet Advisory Council and on behalf of the Cadets of the Civil Air Patrol, we extend our congratulations to her on a job well done!”

C/Col Young noted that C/Maj Larsen recently celebrated her 21st birthday and is now a Senior Member, but she is being recognized for her performance during 2019, while she was still a Cadet.

Captain Emil Ursoe, SM Larsen’s Squadron Leadership Officer, was absolutely confident in her qualifications. “I supported her nomination from the start. She’s been a hard-charger from day one. She had Cadet Airman First Class pinned on as ‘blood rank’. She was the encampment Chief Master Sergeant a couple years ago, and at one point she saw a Cadet 100 yards away with his hands in his pockets. She went full-on VFR direct to tear him a new ass. It was inspiring.”

“Wagner has nothing on Miss Larsen,” said Cadet Captain David Green, who was a squadron commander at last year’s encampment, where then C/Maj Larsen was the Cadet Executive Officer. “She absolutely lifed me during encampment when I tried to run into the AAFES real quick wearing only shower shoes. I knew it was against the rules, but there was nobody in the store and I’d be in and out with a case of Rip-Its in 30 seconds. No sooner did I reach for the Rip-Its in the cooler than I sensed a ‘presence’. She was two feet behind me, staring at me like I had just killed a bald eagle and pissed on Spaatz’s grave. The next five minutes were just a blur. I didn’t get the Rip-Its; but at least I got out of there alive.”

On being presented with the award, SM Larsen gave a short acceptance speech before departing.

“Thanks for this. Now I need a case of Natty Ice, a marathon CoD sesh, and a hard bang,” she said. “Hopefully at the same time.”