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Civil Air Patrol Rolls Out Cadet Protection 2.0—With More Bubble Wrap and Less Fun!

“I’ts not enough to prevent harm,” said one official, “we need to prevent everything.”

Vanguard rep: “We have exclusive rights to sell that.”

Volunteer University aims to join the Big 12.

“I’m not going to wear some professional development ribbon I got for passing a Moodle quiz.”

The ground team is going to be a bunch of excited 15 year-olds with more enthusiasm than skill in a broke-dick Dodge van.”

“She saw a Cadet 100 yards away with his hands in his pockets. She went full-on VFR direct to tear him a new ass. It was inspiring.”

“I’m happy to put down my iPhone and do whatever they ask.”

“I guess I’m kind of a big deal.”

“I got my ass reamed by the Cadet Command Chief because I wasn’t wearing my PT belt.”

“He was just an auto plant worker from Southern Wisconsin, but he seemed to have an intimate knowledge of staff organization and field operations.”